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Losing control of yourself and getting into conflicts with your loved ones is a part and parcel of any relationship, but should you let it fester long enough to do serious damage to all aspects of your life?
Conflicts arise due to the conflicting needs of people, since no two individuals can agree upon everything all the time. If conflicts are not satisfactorily resolved, they give rise to a lot of negativity, which can seriously harm relationships. On the other hand, if they are handled in a positive and constructive way, they can help in building stronger long-term relationships.
The main step in resolving conflicts is to first build your ability to control emotions and the way you react. It is only when you stay calm, control your emotions and behaviour, pay attention to the feelings of the other person and be respectful of the differences between you two, can you positively and successfully handle conflicts.
Feelings of anger can seriously impact the way you react with people around you. It impairs your ability to think correctly and you end up behaving disrespectfully with the other person.
Follow these tips to help manage your anger.
1. Figure out the reason behind your anger
If you are prone to getting angry quickly, getting into fights and arguments, it’s time to focus on what’s causing you to be angry. Is your anger a cover up for any other feelings, which you are unable to express? It could be embarrassment, hurt, shame or insecurity. Do you find it hard to compromise on certain situations and things or express other feelings like fear and guilt? These are signs that there may be something more to your anger, which you need to identify and deal with.
2. Learn to recognise warning signs
Our bodies have a tendency to give out warning signs as a natural response whenever we develop feelings of anger. Some of them are clenching of teeth, faster & deep breathing, pacing around and severe headaches. Learn to recognise these physical signs before you start losing your temper and take appropriate steps from losing control.
3. Act quickly to cool down
Once you know what triggers your anger, immediately take steps to cool down yourself. You can take deep, slow breaths, slowly count till ten, practice meditation, exercise, listen to soothing music or do anything you enjoy to stay away from the rising tension in your body.
4. Redirect your feelings constructively
Every time you get angry, try to reach deep into the actual cause of your anger and ask yourself if it’s really worth getting angry. Try to communicate the reason for your frustration in a healthier way, working on building constructive communications with the other person.
Tips for resolving conflicts
The below tips can help you in positively handling conflicts and building healthy and balanced relationships with your loved ones.
- Listen to the other person
- Focus on resolving the fight rather than “winning the fight”
- Do not bring on past grudges, resentments
- Pay attention to non-verbal communication
- Make use of humour to end conflicts
- Be ready to forget and forgive